Pre-Death Vigil
The journey leading to death should be one that respects the person and their path. Each of us is unique in life and that should be reflected in our process of passing.
In my role as an End of Life Doula, I will do all that I can, not only to assist your loved one die peacefully but also to support them and you to live well through the journey.
“We cannot change the outcome, but we can affect the journey.”
Dying Well
Palliative Care and Hospice Care are invaluable, yet each person’s role is limited by the amount of time they can spend with a family, outside of their service role and, especially by the organization's policies and procedures.
We are seeing many advances in modern medicine in the area of pain management enabling end of life to be more comfortable. With this comes opportunities for people to better communicate their emotions and wishes.
It is the outcomes of these two factors where an End of Life Doula can prove supportive. As well as being an adjunct to any care team, a Doula can provide additional compassion, care and support.
The role of an End of Life Doula offers immense opportunities to explore and positively experience the emotions involved in end of life experience. For those who are on the path of transition and for those in their circle of support, having a Doula can soften the edges of fear and uncertainty.
A Doula can facilitate a more open conversation about the journey of death and dying. These conversations can be difficult for loved ones and the presence of a Doula can create a sense of calm. This opens the way for acceptance and peace emotionally, and can ease the process of personal grief or family chaos in the days following one’s passing.
“Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides.”
The Vigil
A vigil begins when it is clear that the person is in the final stage of their transitioning process; that is, when the signs & symptoms suggest that the body is breaking down irrevocably. At this point, it is important for someone to be present around the clock unless the dying person has specifically asked to be alone during certain times in their process.
A vigil can stretch on for days, sometimes even longer than a week. This is when it is extremely beneficial for the person’s circle of support to be present. This can include family, friends and an End of Life Doula to stay at the bedside in shifts.
Throughout the vigil, the Doula and circle of support can hold space for the wishes of the dying person to unfold. Doing this requires a deep engagement with the person transitioning, even though they may appear to be unresponsive.
As vigils move toward the last breath, time slows and seems to expand. Emotions can intensify during this sacred time. The presence of a Doula during this process can take the burden of responsibility off the family so they may be fully present for their loved one. It can also offer those who are alone the comfort of being accompanied on this journey.
“Such a caring for death, an awakening that keeps vigil over death, a conscience that looks death in the face, is another name for freedom.”