Birth, Death & Grief-Normal Parts of Life
The physical loss of a loved one is not the only circumstance that makes the experience of death a difficult one. There are often missed opportunities for greater compassion and comfort which cause an additional sense of loss. We often don’t realize the gift of connection to each other during this time that is overshadowed by fear and worry of the unknown.
As an End of Life Doula, I am there to assist in honouring those gifts. I trust in the inherent wisdom of each person to connect with and discover their own best path and then walk along that path with them.
I companion rather than treat and serve rather than help. I recognize what a person’s needs are, not what their diagnosis is.
“I am learning to trust the journey even when I don’t understand it.”
Holistic Care-The Doula Model
As an End of Life Doula, I offer a holistic model of support for the end of life transition both for the person who is transitioning through death and for those who are in their circle of support.
Holistic care is defined as addressing the needs of the whole person. This includes one’s physical condition, their emotional and psychological needs, and appreciating their social, cultural and spiritual values.
It is in the practice of the doula that all of these intimately interconnected aspects of care come together.
“We must all obey the great law of change. It is the most powerful law of nature.”
Dying Organically
Dying organically means allowing our bodies to release in a natural progression towards death. Providing comfort and pain relief is a part of this process. The other is to clear the path allowing a focus to be on tending to the transition of the dying self. This letting go of trying to fix and simply allowing and supporting is part of what is so difficult for us.
In dying organically, we are not hastening or prolonging death but allowing the natural rhythm of life to occur. We are letting go of things as they rise and not fighting them with artificial means.
Allowing a natural death is not the same as refusing life saving treatment or refusing means that grant physical relief. There are medications, both pharmaceutical and natural, that assist the body through the process without pain and that is an important part of dying organically.
One day, we will each pass from this place regardless of what we do to stay in it. Illness as the means of passing does not reflect a failure. It is simply one way of transition. There is no judgement in death.
“It is the acceptance of death that has finally allowed me to choose life.”